What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 09:00
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
How come Trump is so weak in backing down from some tariffs?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Have you ever met somebody so stupid that they made you question how they survived this long?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Can you share a picture of your favorite outfit and explain why you love it?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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Make Nazis afraid again!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
TEXT:
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)